Managing to Farmhand.
We Could be the butt of any joke.
Nala is almost 13 years old, Sue her daughter is 2 but hasn't done a lick of work in the paddock.
Then there is me.
I haven't worked out in the paddock full time for years, I actually don't care to say just how many it's been. I left my 'Station Managers' wife or as it's widely known 'Station Support' role and I am now a 'farmhand'.
Why?
My stress levels associated with work are now almost zero. I get to drop my girls off to Daycare, a mere 20mins into town. They are playing with other kids and learning - I have no fear of snakes on the lawn anymore, my new fear is what sickness they will bring home.
I then start my work day, totally child free for the first time since I had kids. There is no pressure to be home by lunch time get the girls down for a nap. I am not worrying about stores, lots of staff, fires, floods, waters, injuries the list goes on... I might just be worried about getting thrown off my mare again or simply what the weather is doing today so I know how many layers to wear.
I spent a WHOLE day clipping netting to a fence the other day. It was a bit brain dulling but it actually gave me time just to be on my own, in the quiet of the surrounding bush and sit with my thoughts.
I am happy in this work.
I like being outside, in the cold, in the sun. I love cantering across a paddock, up a hill, through a creek. My hands sporting a few cuts, my body some bruises but I feel like its worthwhile and it's rewarding.
Today I moved some heifers into a new paddock, I opted for the buggy as I was alone and all I have is Nala who is very retired (although she fairly got a spring back in her step at work today) and Sue who is almost glued to me for reassurance. I had some mild concern it was going to be a bit of a show.. thankfully no one would be watching. However, I was pleasantly surprised!
Nala, while steady still covered her stock nicely and needed little to no guidance from me and whilst it took Sue a minute to feel ok to leave my side she showed some good natural ability and we completed our task, with a huge smile on my face and no yelling!
Maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal, well it's not is it? For this mum who is finding her feet again, it was a win.
I feel a reinvention of myself occurring as work no longer dominates my headspace I have more room to think about what I want and what I enjoy.
I am finding my voice, trying to let go of some fear, leaning into myself and what feels good and trying to really put myself first. It's uncomfortable. It's challenging.
I am trying to work out what this 'normal' life is and how to balance it all, It feels in many ways much easier to balance than it did up North.
So with that, am I still 'Cattlestationmum' ? This silly name means so much to me, I was a mother twice over living on remote Cattle Stations and as my time progressed our staff would joke I was their second mum.
Time will tell.
I came across this quote on a photo of one of my favourite Instagram accounts 'wifeofacowboy'
" The greatest opportunities worth taking can feel like the scariest choices. When we're tempted to play it safe, remember taking the risk is the greatest risk of all' - Mark Batterson
We took a huge risk leaving our careers and lives up North but the opportunities we now have within our reach are endless.
Take the risk.
Grace x
P.S. I am still the managers wife but he is now my boss!
